I trust you loved my last blog, Fluffy Duck and the Big Black Hole? The Fluffy Duck approach to life has been such a gift to me in the last few weeks. So many times I’ve turned to it as my guiding light in day-to-day decisions. It’s amazing how such a simple concept can be so powerful. In our next 2 blogs, I want to explore this concept deeper, to see what other gems lie inside….
10 days ago, I attended a Sound Healing Journey for the Spring Equinox. Needless to say, the Sound Healing Journey was spectacular, and brought me everything I was needing on that day.
But I had only 2 days’ notice that the event was on, and it clashed with an essential oils class I was planning to run for a friend.
What a dilemma! Should I go ahead with the class, knowing that it’s something I want to do, and which will be good for my business? OR do I follow my inner child’s longing into the Sound Healing Journey, and nourish my own Soul with the gifts of transformation that journey will bring.
I felt into which of these two activities was my biggest fluffy duck, and received my answer. Change the dates of the class, so I can attend the Sound Healing Journey…and that’s what I did.
Yes, I still had a little twinge of guilt as I postponed the class. I’ve been so used to putting my own self-care at the lower edge of the pile, and instead prioritising others who may need help more than me….or prioritising those activities that will help grow my business and my dreams the most.
But the truth is that all of those things rest my shoulders….and if I’m not taking good care of me, how can I show up as my true self, in full health and happiness?
I used to think it didn’t matter – I could be strong, and battle through for others….and somehow, at some point in the future, I would be able to receive what I’m craving for. But the problem with that attitude is that it becomes a habit – a habit of NOT listening to my inner self, and instead doing what I think I should be doing.
This is a very interesting concept. Am I at my greatest when I’m doing what I should be doing to evolve as a Soul? Or am I at my greatest when I am freefalling in life, and following the inner nudges that tell me where to place my body and Spirit?
My pendulum has swung, and I’m now living life in freefall, and asking myself in each day what I truly want to be doing (and who I truly want to be doing it with!).
If it doesn’t feel like a fluffy duck, I’m saying “No!”
This brings me to another interesting observation.
As I was waiting in a corridor to go into the Sound Healing Journey, I was listening to a conversation in front of me. There were quite a few of us sitting there, yoga mats and eye masks in tow, waiting for the facilitators to set up the magical space that we would soon walk into.
One of the men was leaning against the counter, excitedly talking to the proprietor about computers and the latest advancements in the IT world. He turned to all of us, his captive audience, and proudly announced that, “I work with computers, so if you have any questions, just ask me.”
It was clear they were his passion, and his enthusiasm was easily a 10/10.
But sitting just off to the side, on one of the chair-sized cushions, was his wife. She had a walking stick beside her, and she addressed this same captive audience with her response. “All he ever does is talk computers. You can tell they are his love, not me.”
It was as fascinating as watching a great piece of theatre. What an incredible statement! Although I opted not to say anything, the picture was crystal clear to me.
This man loves things that change.
He’s a pioneer, on the chase for adventure, looking for a hearty challenge. And that’s what the world of technology offers him. It’s forever changing, and because of this, it’s exciting to him. As soon as he masters one part of it, it’s changed and he needs to adapt and master the next part.
What a way to live! That’s his fluffy duck!
But his wife clearly isn’t. She’s stuck, and because of this, she’s no longer a fluffy duck to him.
I pondered how much of her physical pain was brought on by her emotions of resentment towards her husband. I’ve seen this so often, where emotional pain lodges in our body as dis-ease. When we don’t work through its cause to find our place of forgiveness or letting go, we become stuck. We start to calcify in the one position, moment by moment, until we are like a lead weight.
As I listened to this woman, I heard the voice of a victim. She wanted the world to side with her, in seeing her as a “poor thing, whose husband cares more about his computers and technology than he does about her”.
But what I saw was a woman who is her own worst enemy. By wanting her husband to change so that she can be happy, she’s completely ignored the true capacity for change in her relationship….which is herself.
He will love her when she changes, when she adapts, when she seeks adventure and new horizons like himself.
While she’s stuck in her resentment, pointing the finger outwards and not looking at her own life, she’s effectively turning her husband’s lights off, not on.
How many times have they each had this same conversation to other captive audiences – friends, family, strangers? I suspect this record has been looping over and over for decades.
She’s the sad ostrich with her head stuck in the sand, unwilling to see the opportunity for joy and happiness right in front of her….because it’s on the opposite side of discomfort.
I wanted to shake her and say, “Leave him, and go do something you really love doing, and go find someone who sees you as their North Star!”
If she changes, if she starts to pursue her own fluffy ducks (regardless of where his fluffy ducks lie), then she has the opportunity to throw their whole stack of cards up in the air, to see where they fall. Maybe they would rediscover each other and find a passion for each other once more.
Or maybe their season is over, and this marriage is not meant to last a lifetime.
And if that’s the case, she has the opportunity to seek someone who matches her new frequency, and who will love her the way she yearns to be loved.
How many people are living small, because they’re too afraid to ask the hard questions, and really see the areas of inertia or quicksand in their life, and therefore the opportunities for growth?
Comfort and convenience have their appeal – but when we let them go and throw ourselves into the wind, we have the chance to find where our path really lies.
You may read this and think that I’m going to disrupt a lot of relationships with this message. And maybe I will. Working through the triggers that come up in relationships is hard, and can be deeply painful. But when we truly love someone, when they are our fluffy duck, we weather those storms to go on the journey with them.
What we are not destined to do is to be static, to pin ourselves into one place of existence, a pitiful mouse running around and around in the eternal mouse wheel. That is the trap.
When our world descends to that level, and we can see no way out of a hopeless, loveless situation, that’s when we create dis-ease and ultimate death.
Yet our true nature is incredibly light….and it’s no wonder, because we are Beings of Light!!!
So bring that amazing light in you into focus, and look at the areas of your life where you are allowing yourself to be stuck.
No one is ever forcing you. You have the ultimate choice here. So say goodbye to the sad ostrich, and follow your fluffy ducks into the winds of change, and see where they lead you.
This is how we freefall, as a happy Pied Piper following our many fluffy ducks.