The Christmas Tree

I recently attended a business seminar ang got chatting to one of the other participants. We were talking about the concept of making friends. As I shared my own process of connecting with people and developing friendships, I received a vision or analogy that seems very fitting, and I'd like to share with you.
When people ask me to describe myself, I say that I’m “multidimensional”.

This is because I have so many facets to me, like the most beautiful crystal. No matter what angle you look at this crystal from, you will discover something new and wonderful. The beauty is in the variety. Some aspects of the crystal may look dirty or terrifying…yet when viewed as a whole, the crystal is breathtakingly beautiful.

And that multidimensional, multifaceted Soul is me, just as it is you…For example:

I have a soft, feminine facet. I have a strong, masculine facet.
I have an inquisitive facet. I have a peaceful facet.
I have a spiritual facet. I have a perfectionist facet. 
I have an easy-going facet.  I have a tense, stressful facet. 
I have an intelligent facet. I have a visionary facet.
I have a courageous facet. I have a shit-scared facet.  
I have a judgmental facet. I have a forgiving facet.
I have a demanding facet. I have a warrioress facet.
I have a humble facet. I have an illuminated facet.
I have a tender and caring facet.

Knowing the depths of each dimension within me, how do I go about interacting with others who will have similar but not identical dimensions? I start by testing the waters.

When I first meet someone, I listen very carefully to what they say. I ask probing questions, and enquire in such a way that I start to peel the layers of their own onion, so I get to discover both their personality and their Spirit.

I want to know what makes their heart beat faster, and what gets their “ju ju” flowing.

I want to find out what they are made of, always curious to find areas where we overlap.

Where is the mutual “ah ha” moment, when I find myself gazing at an aspect of my own Being as I look into their eyes, just as they do with me?

And as I go on this journey of exploration with another person, it’s natural that I will come up against rock walls. I’ll find areas where the green lights turn to amber or even red.

For example, I have a beautiful lady who is helping me with cleaning around the house. I wanted someone I could connect with, and whose energy will be peaceful and calm, and bring a special light to the house as she cleans. I want someone who loves cleaning, and who takes great pride in their work; someone who is teachable and humble. 

This woman is all of those things. However, her spiritual faith is not one that I’ve encountered before, even though it is a branch of Christianity.

She came to clean for me once, whilst I was in the midst of watching a zoom business seminar. And the culture of the tribe who I’m part of in business has an ease around swearing. I have no problem with that. Swearing is not something that triggers me. To me, it is simply another form of self-expression, like dance, or running into the ocean.

Yet I am aware that swearing triggers some people. So I let her know that there may be some swearing audible from my computer, and I asked her if that would bother her at all. It turns out it didn’t. This was great news! If it had, I would have moved into another room, out of respect for her beliefs. But knowing that it didn’t bother her, I found my first green tick of connection.

Then, a little later the same day, we got chatting about the upcoming Christmas break, and how we would both be spending it.

During that discussion, she shared with me something personal about herself, which was causing her some sorrow and angst. I had a very clear vision come through, which I shared with her. It was something I hoped would help her. I knew it was a message from Spirit for her, however I chose to explain it using Universal language, and simply described it as an inner sense that I had, ie. an intuitive feeling or guidance.

I observed that her energy remained fully open to me as I shared.

Although I didn’t get the feeling that my words “landed” with her, ie. she was neutral around what I’d said (which tells me that she goes elsewhere for her truth and information), I was nevertheless impressed that she didn’t energetically shut me out. She listened with respect and openness, without passing any judgment on what I had said.

The green tick appeared again, as I thought, “This is a woman I can talk to on a deep level, and there will be mutual respect present. We can agree to disagree on our belief systems, and there are no uncomfortable feelings associated with our different spiritual paths.”

And so the conversation unfolded that day. Yet as I pondered this conversation, I realised that I do this with everyone I meet. It’s part of how I get to know someone.

I will ask questions, I will share, I will observe, and sometimes I will throw up a challenge to see how they respond.

A challenge could simply be that I start talking about an area of my life that’s a little more controversial or emotional, just to see how they respond. Are they able to hold the space for me, without judgement? How do they respond under pressure? Do their responses come from a deep space within them, or do they head to a more superficial playground, and try to “fix” the problem with persuasion and logic. 

Sometimes I’ll provide a road block to see what they do. I’ll often do this when I go to a new therapist for body work. I “test their mustard” – I want to see what they are made of, and I want to see if they have the ability to see through my deflections to the truth inside of me.

As I journey this path of self-discovery with different people, I work out what facets of myself can be illuminated and revealed to them, and which parts I choose to keep hidden – not necessarily forever, but at least for now, until they are ready to see more of me.

I think of myself like a Christmas Tree, draped in spectacular lights

Most people get to see some of my lights – the ones that I know they are ready for. Yet every now and then I will meet someone who shows me green lights at every turn – someone who demonstrates that they can truly meet me in all of my depth and radiance, and love me for all aspects of myself, even the less pretty parts. Together, we spiral deeper and deeper into the joy and wonder of discovering and knowing each other.

What is a true friend? They are the person we can be our Self with, warts and diamonds. When we are in the presence of a true friend, our entire Christmas Tree lights up, showing every facet of our beautiful multidimensional Self. 

Wishing you and your loved ones a "fully lit" Christmas tree this festive season!!!

May it be a time of joy, inspiration, adventures and rejuvenation. We look forward to connecting again in the new year...

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