Disruption is our greatest teacher

Did you enjoy my last blog? If so, you will know I’ve been away at a 7 day Aboriginal Healing workshop. This week, I want to share with you my most powerful take-away from this intense and wonderful week.

I went into the workshop expecting to learn a fascinating new modality. Yet I came out of that workshop having gained something totally unexpected.
And I realised that disruption is our greatest teacher.

As very young children, our life is full of wonder and new experiences. We are like the sponge, soaking up the world, growing and learning in every way possible. Our Being is innately malleable, and nothing is “good” or “bad”, “right” or “wrong”. It just is.

If we eat a piece of sour fruit, we spit it out. Yuk! That didn’t taste good. But there’s no further judgement on it. We don’t assume that it should have been different. It just is what it is.

This is our true nature. We are the seed, the spark of Light that begins deep within our Being and pours out to the world.

Yet with every new experience and every emotional trigger, we begin to form a framework of structure around us. 

That framework is often referred to as our Ego, or personality. It is given life and elevates itself into a “form” as a result of all the many assumptions we make about ourselves, and the world around us.

We can take any childhood emotional experience and see the patterns within it. I learned all about unravelling patterns in 1996 when I attended a one year personal development workshop with Scott Washington. The Aboriginal Healing Technique I’ve just learned showed me another way of accessing those underlying patterns.

If I were to take my own life as an example, here was me as an incredibly sensitive and emotionally intelligent child, born to parents who were polar opposites to myself. My Mum was a cytogeneticist before she retired, and one of those rare women in her era to have gone on to University and Academia. My Dad was an accountant, and incredibly rigid in his rules and his beliefs.

I felt like a fish out of water, and often fantasized that I was from another Planet, and these weren’t my real parents. I loved them as any child does – it’s pre-programmed within us to have that love for our parents. But I didn’t feel like I belonged.

Unravelling patterns is a very powerful process to undertake. It’s also one that our Ego will offer great resistance to, because its very existence and power in our life is the direct result of these patterns.

In Scott Washington’s process, we ask ourselves 3 questions:
1. What does the world look like? To me, it was a cruel, unpredictable and unsafe world to be in.
2. Who am I in this world? I decided I am different and “wrong”, and I don’t belong
3. How do I operate in the world? This is where the Ego comes into being, and guides us in how to protect ourselves from the world we see ourselves living in, given what we believe ourselves to be. In my case, I did a few different things in order to survive in this world.

1. I decided it was safer not to be in my body, so I often lived in a very ungrounded state, with my Spirit out in the ether, and my body walking around without me in it.
2. I decided that I couldn’t trust people, so I was slow to make friends, and found it difficult to reach out for help, as I didn’t trust others to be there for me.
3. I decided that the safest way to “be” in the world was to understand people and the world. This has led me to become very good at reading people, and highly intuitive. This has had its advantages in my life, even though it was a wound that triggered it.
4. I decided that I didn’t belong in this world, and that I was an alien…and so that gets triggered when I’m around strangers and crowds, and led me to become quite introverted and stressed in those situations.

So this is how our personality or Ego comes into existence.

Unlike our true nature, the Ego is rigid. It forms immovable “rules” and “decisions” designed to keep us safe in a turbulent world. But unfortunately many of its assumptions are false. And being the incredibly powerful manifesters that we are (we’re like pure magnetic energy), when we make these decisions we then get more of the same. And so the unfolding of our life then continues to justify the existence of our Ego. “See, I knew I couldn’t trust women [or men]” might be one of our Ego’s by-lines. Or it might be “See, no one will ever love me because I’m so ugly/wrong/disgusting”.

Unlike our true self which pours from the inside out, like a vortex radiating our energy out in a spiral that is ever increasing in size, our Ego is an anchor formed from the outside in. We see ourselves as a fractal of a larger image of the world, and so we create our world as being multiples of this fractal.

I went into the Aboriginal Healing workshop led by a pure and heart-felt desire to connect more with the Aboriginal culture and spirituality, and to learn a new healing technique. Never having experienced the technique before, I was led by a sheer knowing that I needed to be there.

I look back now, a week later, and laugh.

Spirit has such a wonderful way of bringing us to exact places we need to go to for our own healing.

Little did I realise I was going to be receiving 17 different healing sessions in those 7 days, and each of them would take me back in time (to past and present life) to address the unhealed wounds of my own life.

I laugh because I see how perfect this is. I had become so rigid in certain areas of my life, that in those areas I’ve been playing victim to circumstances. And without even realising consciously that I was doing it, I’d avoided truly investigating the emotional triggers that lay behind those areas of injury or unhappiness in my life.

Spirit tossed me into the deep end of the pond by leading me to this course, because it was ALL about finding those original triggers within the hologram of our world, and unravelling them.

I went to the course with a sore lower back. It’s been an ongoing issue for me, and was aggravated in the recent floods when I was trying to be Superwoman and move a heavy pot plant that stood taller than me. During the course, my lower back flared up even worse than it had been. It was at its most unbearable, and emotions were pouring up with it. Then in one session on the table, I had a vision that helped me join all the dots. I saw in an instant how my whole life was right there in my lower back. It reflected so many decisions I’d made about myself and the world around me.

In the days following that session, so much joy got released within me. I feel more alive, I feel more connected to everything around me. I feel like dancing, singing, playing with the plants in my garden, curling up with a good movie. I feel like making love, and hollering from the roof tops (just because I can!). It’s released an essence within me that I (my Ego) had put a lid on. And when I’m in that moment, feeling my Spirit move within me, I’m creating space to dance, sing, tend to my garden, etc.

And as I liberate these imprisoned parts of my Being, my back has been noticeably improving.

Indeed, I left the course with a heightened comprehension of what powerful Beings we are, and how everything starts with an emotion that then becomes anchored into a belief and a way of life.

If we truly want to change our life, we must deep dive into the pond of our ugliest emotions and bring them to the surface for healing. And often this is achieved not from a casual “Oh, I’m going to go visit my inner demons today”. More often it’s disruption (ie. those unexpected life events) that drive these emotions to the surface. Disruption gives us the opportunity to grab onto the tail fin of our emotions, and let them lead us into our depths to uncover their origins and the Egoic decisions we made at the time…so that these can be replaced with new and empowering choices that come from the Light of our Spirit.