Two Halves of One Soul

Last week, something happened that rocked my world.

If you have been reading my blogs, you will know that last month a dear friend passed over. His name is Gary Hastie. His beloved wife Yomo (also a close friend of mine) called me shortly after he passed.
“I didn’t know who else to call,” she said, as she cradled Gary in her arms. In the amazing void of that experience we call death, I comforted Yomo and honoured the passing of this great giant with a sacred ceremony involving crystals, oils and drumming. Click here to read that blog.
But last week, when I returned a missed call, it wasn’t Yomo who picked up the phone. Instead, it was one of her carers, letting me know that Yomo had just passed away.
She had been busily preparing for Gary’s memorial service, creating the most inspired celebration for him. We were all invited to bring our drums, so we could farewell his Soul with a drumming ceremony.
With only 4 days to go until the service, Yomo had chosen to step out of her own body and join her soul mate. 
Just like the great Elders have the ability to “choose” the timing and manner of their passing, so too did Yomo. She’d spent the 4 weeks since Gary’s passing getting everything in order. She asked for someone to mind her dog so she could have some quiet time that evening. She ensured that the right people knew who to contact in the event of something happening to her. And she went into a deep meditation and left her body.
Our celebration for one became a celebration for two, and I was blessed to speak at the memorial on behalf of Yomo. This is the essence of what I shared:
“When I met Yomo, she was an amazing raw food chef. I remember so well the mouth-watering flavours she concocted in her food – it was how she gave love to the world. Her treaties were out of this world, and knowing how much I loved them, she’d always pack me off with a goodie bag of extras.

“She’d met me many years earlier at one of my spiritual classes, and that’s where she’d learned about essential oils. She was now ready to order some more, and reached out again. This time we’d connected not only for oils, but also as friends.

Isn’t it interesting how we can look back on life, and see its perfect synchronicities?

"I re-entered Yomo’s life only weeks before she had a terrible accident.

“This was almost 6 years ago. She was helping a café develop a new menu, when she was electrocuted by a dodgy piece of equipment. The resultant trauma to her nerves resulted in stroke-like symptoms, and demolished her sense of taste and smell. She was exhausted, and barely able to speak or walk. Her nerves were fried. And she was having intermittent bouts of amnesia, lasting 12 hours or so.

“But she brought such amazing determination to the healing process, and was slowly learning to walk and speak again. Six months later, Yomo was slightly improved – enough that she and Gary decided to come on a road trip to visit Gary’s son and his wife, and to come and see my beautiful crystals.

“Since her accident, my crystals had been calling out to her, providing a much-needed anchor point for her Soul, amidst the turbulence of her condition and all the pain it involved. These crystals knew she needed help, and were channelling their energy and love towards her….and she felt it.

“That road trip changed Yomo’s life completely.

“By the time she arrived here, she had total amnesia. We all hoped and prayed it would just last a few hours, but she never got her memory back, and to this day remembers nothing of her life before that day.

“It was like a door had slammed shut on her previous life. It ceased to exist, and she was thrust into a new world and a new life, with people who knew and loved her, but whom she didn’t remember.

“This articulate and beautiful woman began life from scratch.

“Her husband Gary was now called “Hubband”. I was “Crystal lady” (although she did eventually learn my name and call me Artemis, but that took a few years). Her beloved cat was “Meow” and her dog was known by her name “Lilly” (except that it sounded more like “Liyee”).

“I can only imagine how difficult this transition must have been for Gary. Yet his love and devotion to Yomo was so powerful that he held her hand through every trial and tribulation. He stood by her side and fought for her rights. They battled the legal system to try and receive justice and compensation for the electrocution. After many years they finally won…only to be told that the insurance company was putting a block on all payouts, and that they would receive no compensation.

“They ended up living in a house that was not a home, in a street that was noisy and violent, with Yomo now in a wheelchair and needing round the clock care, and Gary on dialysis 3 times a week due to kidney issues.

Have you ever noticed that the most difficult lessons are given to the greatest of Souls?

"It’s these extreme challenges that test the very fabric of what we are made of, and give us the greatest opportunities for growth.

“In all those years of knowing Yomo, never once did I hear her complain. She was in a lot of pain, her eyes were so light sensitive that she had to live in a darkened room with sunglasses on, and she became exhausted very easily. Yet despite these challenges, she never entertained a victim mentality.

“Instead, she poured herself into her spiritual connection. I witnessed this over the years of our friendship. I watched her becoming stronger and stronger spiritually, and more and more attuned. She’d never ask for help for herself, but she was always thinking of others. When we’d speak, she’d say things like, “Artemis, hubband is in hospital. He’s not doing well. Will you think of him please?” Or she’d say “Artemis, how are you?” She’d never accept just a superficial answer. Her life was enriched by our authentic conversations. She wanted to know how I was on the inside, and she spoke to that part of me that was radiant, that was hurting, that was learning and growing, that was tumbling through life’s ups and downs with as much awareness as I could muster.

I knew that life without Gary was going to be very tough for Yomo. From the moment her life started again after the amnesia, he was her North Pole. Their love and connection that had been ever present before the accident quadrupled after the accident. He was her best friend, and the other half of her Soul. He was her advocate in life, and cared for her as much as anyone could ever do. Now, without his carer’s income, she couldn’t afford to stay in her home. There were a lot of difficulties ahead.

And they had agreed that they would go together. It was never meant to be that one of them stayed in the land of the living, while the other grew wings.

"So when I received the news of Yomo’s passing, I was both sad and happy. Sad, because I will miss my friend. But happy, because I know that she’s happy, being with Gary. And each time I tune into her, I no longer feel her as an individual energy.

I see and feel them as one Soul, one circle of life, containing both of them in its embrace.

“And I felt so strongly guided to be here today. Part of that was for my own journey, so that I can be here to farewell my two dear friends, as they embark on their next adventure together.

“But isn’t it true that you know a great person by the company they keep? Both Gary and Yomo were amazing people and bright and shining Souls… I also wanted to be here to meet you, their friends and loved ones.

“We are all connected by this invisible spider’s web that is Gary and Yomo, and our love for them. I really want to meet you, and I hope you will come and introduce yourself to me, so I get to know the beautiful people that they loved."

That sharing was so powerful, that many of Gary and Yomo’s friends did indeed seek me out that day. They shared such beautiful things with me that I came to see so many more facets of the story that is Gary and Yomo.

One person said to me, “Yomo often talked about you. You were her closest friend.”

Another said to me, “I was there when Gary died. Yomo rang many people that day, but you did a marathon effort with her, holding the space. That’s not easy, but you were really there for her, and that meant the world to her.”

One of her carers said to me, “The night before Yomo died, she insisted that I get a piece of paper and write down 3 names. She wouldn’t let me wait till the next day, even though it was late. These were the 3 people she wanted me to call if anything happened to her. Your name was on that list.”

Isn’t it true that sometimes, it’s the very little things we give that can mean the most to other people? That’s the gift I walked away with that day, and I felt humbled to see so clearly the role that my friendship had played in Yomo’s life. It was far more than I’d ever realised.